Twentysense

I've moved!

2009-03-21T13:40:00.002Z

I have moved here, so please..come along!

Yesterday, today and forever

2008-01-07T01:18:00.001Z

I need to write this quick because you are about to tire.

I love you not because of your immaculate beauty, nor your profound sweetness.

Not for your crass humour nor your clumsy quirks.

But for your kindness, your gentleness, your strength, your resilience against foul winds.

I love you for you.

Beside you always. Yesterday, today and forever

__________________________________________________________
Sent from Yahoo! Mail - a smarter inbox http://uk.mail.yahoo.com

Dandyryan

2007-02-19T18:26:00.000Z

Don’t you just love children sometimes. They’re so adorable, so cute, so huggable kissable and all that baloney.
And then they grow up.
And start trying to be as smart an ass as mummy.

Using words like Rumour and Lactose , and reverse acronym-ing every name and word in sight, just to exhibit their apparent genius and creativity.

Oh and not to forget, their cockiness and judgement-infused glares when they’re still caught up in that boy-hating age and a man walks into the house…to perhaps only pay a harmless visit to their fun loving, butterfly fingered sister.

But I like kids. They’re cool and alert and spot a fake a mile away. And they smell nice.

Oh and high-places phobia is acrophobia.

I had a glorious last week. Everyday was almost perfect. Each day only fell short because I couldn’t spend more time with this dandelion picture that I’d stumbled across some years ago.

I don’t really like dandelions, but this one is special. I noticed it some years ago, when a friend shared her common interest in it with me. It took me a while, but I started having a fond affection for it..and then that withered away as the seasons changed, and the dandelion was pollinated.

Seasons changed, and now I love this dandelion photo. It’s the best I’ve ever seen, and as much as I wish the whole world was full of them, I’m grateful I have the only one!

I had much more to write tonight, but am creatively parched this evening.

Write more soon.

This Dandelion Photo rules me.

-_-

2007-02-07T13:38:00.000Z

I realised something today - Women's personal care tools have reached completely new heights. I've learnt a great deal from a certain someone about ladies clothes, accessories and today...

tweezers.

There is a chain of stores called Tweezerman ( how terribly creative ) that sells "Personal Care Tools", and among these, is the said TWEEZER.

There are TWENTY ONE types of tweezers on sale. 21. TWENTY ONE.

-_-

I mean, I know that the edges of a good tweezer need to be even so that both edges meet perfectly, and yes, they have to retain their spring like ability. But 21 types is insane.

How difficult could it be?
1. Pinch tweezer to grip hair
2. Pull
3. Repeat on other hair

Oh. and they start at USD 20 a bosh.

On every page tweezer page, there are the following pointers.

Caution:
Do not drop tweezers. This can damage the tip and throw tweezers out of alignment.

Note:
Spring tension can be increased by gently pulling the two halves of the tweezer apart. Once you have increased the spring, you cannot decrease it. Do not drop tweezers. This can damage the tip and throw tweezers out of alignment.

No shit, sherlock.

Shake the Spear

2007-02-05T15:59:00.000Z

Juliet, oh Juliet...where for art thou?
My heart pineth, my loins hunger,
My ears wait to hear your voice,
My eyes, to glance your eyes.

You are the bolognese to the spaghetti of my love,
The peanut sauce to the skewered meat of my desires.

Juliet oh Juliet...where for art thou?
Oh come oh come.....
..to me, not alone. ;)

Hello Everyone!!!

2006-12-22T06:39:00.001Z

It's ME

The Mysterious Carrot.

HAHAHAHAHA

One Day

2006-12-22T01:58:00.001Z

One day..

I ate so much that my belly grew and grew.

It grew so much that my pants button POPPED out of the fabric as my belly strained rebelliously against it.

What a splendid day it was.

2006-12-12T16:08:00.000Z

Carroty lover doodlieman fatto big giant brown nuthead duduhead poohead susu man!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Balloon Noses

2006-12-12T08:43:00.000Z

Guest blogger mocks the Soos.

Read this first.

Balloon Noses

The measure of the nose, how splendid it can sometimes be.
I can be quite an anal doodle at times, and by this I mean that I am sensitive in certain areas, both round and square, and not that I overreact to carrots.
I'm going through a little merry-go-round of the 'nosey doodle bangs' at the moment.
It's not funny how this works really. And when I say really I mean really. REALLY really. Really..

1. You know your nose is a giant honker when you can see it from far away, even if it's just a little bit.

2. And then you see that nose again after sometime, and you realise that in that exact moment, just how enormous it is.

3. And then it's time to peel carrots again. And you set it all up in your mind to rub Vicks on that giant nose at just the right time, just before it rubs you goodbye.

4. And then the dreaded moment arrives. You pat, it blows. You hold on to your bottle of Vicks just a bit longer. And then it's time to RUB THAT NOSE. It's time to rub it, right there, in front of Kate Naughton who's waiting for you in her fat eggplant jacket.. and the cap just won't open. It's been comfortable holding it, comfortable putting it in your pocket, but at the moment when you know you want more than ever to dig your fat brown nuggets right into its contents for the first time, the cap is just so thick that you struggle to get it off.

5. And then that moment is gone. Nose rubbing moment, gone for EVER. Your giant honker gives one last blow, and drops with a heavy thud to the floor. Indonesia experiences another earthquake.

6. You notice a purple pillar in the distance. As you proceed closer you realise it's Kate Naughton, your lovely little nerdy carrot.

7. Ever so quickly you whip out your torch, stun her, grab your peeler, and peel her to death.

And so that was the end of Carrot Kate the big ugly giant carrot.

Advent and all that...

2006-11-28T16:56:00.000Z

Flutterisms

2006-11-12T23:47:00.000Z

Alot. Really, really.

Alot. :)

Orange Admittance

2006-11-09T22:47:00.000Z

Yes, indeed I think I sometimes do.
But its not to convince or to impress; its just expression of emotion.

But yes, I see how it can be sometimes overwhelming and maybe even annoying.

Thank you for keeping me in check.

Thank you for the little I have of you.

Dead Mustard

2006-08-28T00:45:00.000+01:00

Here I sit, in the quiet of a a solitary warm light, Il Divo playing softly in the background; pulling the heartstrings..

I've gone from indifference, to nonchalance and back again over the course of a very long time; but time has made it all clear again. It's amazing what a quarrel, a heated argument, followed by a day of pensive thought, and warm parental loving can make you realise.

I thought I didn't know. I thought it had been decided for me. But tonight, sitting here, I've realised one thing.

Somethings never change. The mustard seed has died, but God knows it yearns to grow again. Somethings never change.

And if you're confused and wondering...... Yes, I still do. Very much.

Many the time when I've thought the very same... :)

2006-08-03T12:29:00.000+01:00

The Perpetual Pine

2006-07-29T21:14:00.000+01:00

I'm tired.
I'm spent.

Some people like to believe that "When God closes a door, he opens a window"

That's wonderful to hear....

but what happens when the window closes?

You tire.
You exhaust.

Watch out, Robin.

2006-07-13T00:43:00.000+01:00

The only man alive who could give Robin Williams a run for his money. Stunning.

Chicken? Road? I think not...

2006-07-03T22:43:00.000+01:00

The next time someone asks you this question, you can give them the following answer.

The question "Why did the chicken cross the road" is invalid. It is invalid because "why" assumes that the chicken had some reason for taking the action "cross the road". This, in turn, assumes that the chicken has the concept of "road"; after all, if the chicken doesn't know that the road is there, then the chicken did not - from the chickens point of view - cross the road, and consequently it is meaningless to ask for its motivations for doing so.

Since the chicken is an animal, it is unlikely that it has the concept of road in the same sense than humans do; since it is a bird, whose ancestors were propably capable of flight in the near past, it is unlikely to have the concept of road in any sense - why would a flying bird need roads?

Therefore, the chicken can never have any motivation for crossing the road, since from the chickens point of view, it never does any such thing. It simply moves from one point to another, and these points happen to be on the opposite side of a flat area of ground. No road-crossing has happened.

Think of it this way: if you walk over a scent trail left by some animal, and you don't know that the trail is there, it is foolish to ask your motives of crossing that trail. One can ask your motives for walking in the first place, but the crossing was pure coincidence and not something you chose.

Big Goals and Big Heads.

2006-06-25T02:31:00.000+01:00

So enough of pensive thoughts in my posts for a bit.

It's time to go insane, break all barriers and yell at the top of your now-hoarse world cup voice...

Argentina.

What's more to say. A brilliant game in which Le Mehicanos gave us one heck of a run around, and had my heart and every other organ in my abdomen cramped firmly into the 5 inches or so that make up the length of my neck.

Never have I felt this stressed about a game, never have I felt like ripping every last hair out of me out ( and I have many a hair... )

Never since the Champions League final in '99 when United stuck a nice bratwurst up Bayern's rear end.

Never have I had my heart as active when I was standing still as it is when I'm actually playing the game.

Never have Argentina showed more character, charisma and class.

Maxi Rodriguez means God in Argentinian...at least till Friday.

What a day its been indeed. A day on which material possessions and sporting passions superseded emotional anguish and spiritual indifference....just for a day.

Meet my new toy.

An absolute dream of a device. No longer having to carry three amazing, but chunky devices to work. No more having to keep pulling out these from my pockets on the tube just to reassure fellow passengers that the bulges in my jeans were really electronic gizmos, and not in the least because the summer skirts and orangey tans were making it seem like I was really happy to see them.

I can ogle about this in here, but I won't. Instead, I'll let you read about it, if so inclined, and shift in your seats in olive-green envy as the true beauty of this nifty lil' thing begins to get emblazoned on your material-wanting mind. ;)

I seldom show off. No. I lie. I never show off. But I guess once in a way, it bodes well to have a big head. ;)

And for the skeptics, yes...I really did need one.

And for the Brazillians, Dutch , Portugese and English teams in Germany, watch out..the Diego Dynasty has been resurrected.

And to the Germans...my dear , dear Germans...ensure your 70% seat allocation at the quarter final are taken up....it will be your biggest send-off yet.

Perpetuality

2006-06-23T14:16:00.000+01:00

It's a pain that remains.
A piercing so deep, that no matter how you try, just cannot be removed.
It's not a wound of hurt, not a wound of anger nor revenge.

It's the pain of pining.
Pining, wanting, longing.

If it was so wrong, then why did it feel so right?
Burial doesn't help, distraction helps not a morsel.
Denial only deepens the pine, increases the love.

It was so simple. So pure. So right. So good.
Pining. Longing. Loving....Still.

Think.

2006-06-14T12:26:00.000+01:00

"If you love something, let it go, if it was meant to be yours, it'll come back, otherwise, it was never meant to be yours to begin with"

Which fuckwit came up with this one?
Which moron thought this one up?

Only one who's never had anyone or anything to love in the way that love should be.

I say, never let it go, never not try. And then try and try some more.
It's HOW you try that matters. Don't annoy, don't frustrate.

It's the most difficult thing in the world to come back once you've been fed up and frustrated.
Don't cling, don't pressure. Just love. Love, love, love. In the best way you know how.

So, if you love something, hold on to it. Even if it wants away, let it break away, never let go yourself.

Let the love be in your heart as long as it wants to be there.

Ladies, I love you, but please... :)

2006-05-13T01:20:00.000+01:00

LIST OF RULES

From 9th June to 9th July 2006, you should read the sports section of the newspaper so that you are aware of what is going on regarding the World Cup, and that way you will be able to join in the conversations. If you fail to do this, then you willbe looked at in a bad way, or you will be totally ignored. DO NOT complain about not receiving any attention.

During the World Cup, the television is mine, at all times, without any exceptions. If you even take a glimpse of the remote control, you will lose it (your eye).
If you have to pass by in front of the TV during a game, I don’t mind, as long as you do it crawling on the floor and without distracting me. If you decide to stand nude in front of the TV, make sure you put clothes on right after because if you catcha cold, I wont have time to take you to the doctor or look after you during the World Cup month.

During the games I will be blind, deaf and mute, unless I require a refill of my drink or something to eat. You are out ofyour mind if you expect me to listen to you, open the door, answer the telephone, or pick up the baby that just fell from thesecond floor... it wont happen.

It would be a good idea for you to keep at least 2 six packs in the fridge at all times, as well as plenty of things to nibbleon, and please do not make any funny faces to my friends when they come over to watch the games. In return, you will beallowed to use the TV between 12am and 6am, unless they replay a good game that I missed during the day.

Please, please, please!! if you see me upset because one of my teams is losing, DO NOT say “get over it, its only a game”,or “don’t worry, they’ll win next time”. If you say these things, you will only make me angrier and I will love you less.

Remember, you will never ever know more about football than me and your so called “words of encouragement” will only lead to a break up or divorce.

You are welcome to sit with me to watch one game and you can talk to me during halftime but only when the commercialsare on, and only if the halftime score is pleasing me. In addition, please note I am saying “one” game, hence do not use the World Cup as a nice cheesy excuse to “spend time together”.

The replays of the goals are very important. I don’t care if I have seen them or I haven’t seen them, I want to see them again. Many times.

Tell your friends NOT to have any babies, or any other child related parties or gatherings that requires my attendance because:I will not go, I will not go, and I will not go. But, if a friend of mine invites us to his house on a Sunday to watch a game, we will be there in a flash.

The daily World Cup highlights show on TV every night is just as important as the games themselves. Do not even thinkabout saying “but you have already seen this...why don’t you change the channel to something we can all watch??”, the reply will be: “Refer to Rule #2 of this list”.

And finally, please save your expressions such as “Thank God the World Cup is only every 4 years”. I am immune to these words, because after this comes the Champions League, Premier League, Italian League, Spanish League, etc etc.

Thank you for your co-operation.

Regards,
Men of the World

I need you to know...

2006-01-20T00:22:00.000Z

I'm sorry I couldn't make it work.
I'm sorry I blew it.
I'm sorry I wasn't all you silently hoped me to be...
I was in the midst of trying; I'm sorry I couldn't arrive there quick enough.
I'm sorry I was annoying; I just couldn't understand.
Although you understood why, I'm sorry I left...
I'm sorry that although I told and showed you constantly that I love you, I could not be there to hold you and let you hold me.

I love you immensely.
I love you dearly.
I'm sorry if I ever made you feel that that was something you had to earn from me.

You're in my heart always, in my mind constantly.
On a train, at the sight of a star, a brush of cold air, the scene at a theme park.....constantly.

People often seek pleasure, but seldom find joy.
You made a mark in my life, a mark of joyous beauty.
A mark I do not want to erase, not one I cannot erase.
A mark I want to turn into a Van Gogh masterpiece, a kaleidoscope of colour.

Love knows no vengeance, love knows no guilt.
Love needs only a chance , and flourish again it will.

Your smiles, your laughter, your oddities, your tears...
Your quirks, your flirts, your cheekiness, your fears....
Your lips, your jaw, your palms, your flaws....
Your purples, your pinks, your darker shades of pink mixed maroons,
From Kensington to Bristol, from here to there.....

I love you, I care for you, I miss you, I love you.

I am nothing special; just a common man with common thoughts, and I've led a common life. There are no monuments dedicated to me and my name will soon be forgotten. But in one respect I have succeeded as gloriously as anyone who's ever lived: I love someone, I love you with all my heart and soul.

Ode to the Nice Guys

2006-01-17T22:56:00.000Z

This entry is for those who still believe; who still have the strength to believe.

This is a tribute to the nice guys. The nice guys that finish last, that never become more than friends, that endure hours of whining and bitching about what assholes guys are, while disproving the very point. This is dedicated to those guys who always provide a shoulder to lean on but restrain themselves to tentative hugs, those guys who hold open doors and give reassuring pats on the back and sit patiently outside the changing room at department stores. This is in honor of the guys that obligingly reiterate how cute/beautiful/smart/funny/sexy their female friends are at the appropriate moment, because they know most girls need that litany of support. This is in honor of the guys with open minds, with laid-back attitudes, with honest concern. This is in honor of the guys who respect a girl’s every facet, from her privacy to her theology to her clothing style.

This is for the guys who escort their drunk, bewildered female friends back from parties and never take advantage once they’re at her door, for the guys who accompany girls to bars as buffers against the rest of the creepy male population, for the guys who know a girl is fishing for compliments but give them out anyway, for the guys who always play by the rules in a game where the rules favor cheaters, for the guys who are accredited as boyfriend material but somehow don’t end up being boyfriends, for all the nice guys who are overlooked, underestimated, and unappreciated, for all the nice guys who are manipulated, misled, and unjustly abandoned, this is for you.

This is for that time she left 40 urgent messages on your cell phone, and when you called her back, she spent three hours painstakingly dissecting two sentences her boyfriend said to her over dinner. And even though you thought her boyfriend was a chump and a jerk, you assured her that it was all ok and she shouldn’t worry about it. This is for that time she interrupted the best killing spree you’d ever orchestrated in GTA3 to rant about a rumor that romantically linked her and the guy she thinks is the most repulsive person in the world. And even though you thought it was immature and you had nothing against the guy, you paused the game for two hours and helped her concoct a counter-rumor to spread around the floor. This is also for that time she didn’t have a date, so after numerous vows that there was nothing “serious” between the two of you, she dragged you to a party where you knew nobody, the beer was awful, and she flirted shamelessly with you, justifying each fit of reckless teasing by announcing to everyone: “oh, but we’re just friends!” And even though you were invited purely as a symbolic warm body for her ego, you went anyways. Because you’re nice like that.

Today, I propose a toast to all the nice guys. You know who you are, and I know you’re sick of hearing yourself described as ubiquitously nice. But the truth of the matter is, the world needs your patience in the department store, your holding open of doors, your party escorting services, your propensity to be a sucker for a pretty smile. For all the crazy, inane, absurd things you tolerate, for all the situations where you are the faceless, nameless hero, my accolades, my acknowledgement, and my gratitude go out to you. You do have credibility in this society, and your well deserved vindication is coming.

Germany 2006

2005-12-06T22:01:00.000Z

World Cup Draw LIVE!
[ yes, you can click this to see the draw as it happens ]

2015 GMT :: December 9th 2005

Unlike in recent tournaments it will not be the holders who play the opening match. This time that honour will fall to the hosts and as such they have already been allocated to Group A. Germany are therefore team A1 and will take on A2 in Munich on June 9. Brazil have already been slotted into Group F and they will play their first match in Berlin on June 13.

The other three pots containing the 24 non-seeds have been sorted on a geographical basis. Each time a team is drawn out of a pot, another draw will be made to decide the position (ie, A2 to A4) in the allocated group.

The basic rule of the draw is that no two teams from one continent can be placed in the same group. However, there is an exception to this rule for European teams as, with 14 nations through, there must be two UEFA teams in six groups. This is the reason Serbia & Montenegro have been placed into a separate group. By the nature of the draw, Serbia will be placed in a group with either Argentina, Brazil and Mexico.

DRAW POTS:

Pot One: Argentina, Brazil, England, France, Germany, Italy, Mexico and Spain
Pot Two: Australia, Angola, Ghana, Ivory Coast, Togo, Tunisia, Ecuador, Paraguay
Pot Three: Croatia, Czech Republic, Netherlands, Poland, Portugal, Sweden, Switzerland, Ukraine
Pot Four: Iran, Japan, Saudi Arabia, South Korea, Costa Rica, Trinidad & Tobago, United States
Special pot: Serbia & Montenegro

HOW THE DRAW WILL WORK

• The eight seeded teams will be drawn into eight different groups. Germany have already been allocated Group A and Brazil Group F.
• The eight unseeded European sides, in pot three, will be drawn.
• The lowest-ranked European side, Serbia and Montenegro, will be allocated to one of the groups containing either Brazil, Argentina or Mexico to ensure there is no more than two European sides in any group.
• The pot containing the five African countries, Australia and the two remaining South American sides, pot two, will be drawn.
• The pot containing the four Asian countries, the USA, Costa Rica and Trinidad, pot four, will be drawn.

Simply the....

2005-11-25T21:57:00.000Z

Words cannot describe the idiocy of the general uninformed public. This post goes out to the morons among you who choose to criticise one of the legends to ever pull on a United shirt; even in his death. There is nothing wrong with a lack of information, but there is a monumental flaw when shouting opinions based on this very lack.

George Best has died.

He did NOT die because he was unable to give up his love of the bottle.
He did NOT die because he remained irresponsible as he was in his youth.

He began what was to be a legendary career at the age of 17, and by the time he was 22, was a divine sportsman, and the first footballing superstar ( step aside, David Beckham ).

The measly ( the record at the time ) £500 a-game that he earned during his peak, he used to enjoy his life in the best way he knew how. Women and drink.

" I spent a lot of money on booze, birds and fast cars. The rest I just squandered. ", quipped the ever eloquent maestro.

The high-life cost him his liver, and in 2002, he underwent a transplant.

And this is where, you grotesquely stupid people need to listen up.

Every recipient of a donor liver is open to a myriad of complications, one of them being the body's natural reaction to REJECT this new liver. Rejection refers to immune system activity directed against the transplanted liver. The immune system, responsible for protecting the body from infection and malignancy, constantly patrols the body for foreign (or "non-self" invaders). Immediately following transplantation or at any time thereafter, the recipient's immune system may recognize the transplanted liver as "non-self". Given the opportunity, the immune system then would attack and destroy the new liver (rejection), threatening the patient with either loss of the new liver or worse, loss of life.

To prevent this, the divinity that is the medical profession developed immunosuppresant drugs ( immuno = immune, suppresant = to suppress ).

Immunosuppressant drugs were given to Bestie help prevent his body's natural rejection to his new liver. In order to do this, the drug needed to decrease the activity of his immune system.

[ Additional information about immunosuppresant drugs post-transplant ]
During the initial period of recovery following transplant surgery, immunosuppressant drugs are given directly into the veins ("intravenously"). Later, these drugs are given by mouth. In most cases, oral immunosuppressant drugs must be taken for the rest of the transplant patient's life. (Dosages may be tapered as the body adjusts to the transplanted liver.)

From just after his successful transplant, George Best was given one of many immunosuppressant drugs, Cyclosporine FK-506. It worked brilliantly, preventing his immune system from annihiliating his new liver, and thus keeping him alive.

But one of the side-effects of Cyclosporine FK-506 is that it can lead to severe kidney dysfunction.

[ Other side effects of Cyclosporine FK-506 ]
Headaches
Tremor
Diarrhea
Tension
Nausea
Increased Blood Levels of Potassium and Blood Glucose ("hyperglycemia")

Bestie entered the hospital for what was eventually to be his last time with many of these symptoms, and over the course of his admission, experienced severe kidney dysfunction.

The immunosuppressant drugs, while preventing the rejection of the new liver, had reduced the ability of his immune system to fight off any other infections and illnesses.

And THIS is why he died.

Yes, he paid the ultimate price for his irresponsibility and immaturity. He cost those he held close to his heart unimaginable and unending pain - for the rest of THEIR lives. He was vulnerable to all the excesses of life. We're all vulnerable and have weaknesses of different types. None of us are perfect.

But he was perfect on the football pitch.

His production of skill and artistry, and his ability to beat men and score goals was fantastic. He hardly missed a game, played with injuries and got kicked to shreds by guys who were reduced to mere mortals in his presence.

Remember him for the football.

Goodbye

2005-11-18T13:14:00.000Z

'Manchester United has today reached agreement with Roy Keane for Roy to leave the club with immediate effect.

'The agreement allows Roy to sign a long term deal with another club to enable him to secure his playing career beyond what would have been the end of his contract at United in the summer.
'The club has offered Roy a testimonial in recognition of his 12 years at Old Trafford.
'The club thanks Roy for his major contribution to the Club during his years of service.'
Manager Sir Alex Ferguson said: 'Roy Keane has been a fantastic servant for Manchester United. The best midfield player in the world of his generation, he is already one of the great figures in our club's illustrious history. Roy has been central to the success of the Club in the last 12 years and everyone at Old Trafford wishes him well in the rest of his career and beyond.'
Chief executive David Gill said: 'Roy has been a towering figure at the club for over a decade. His dedication, talent and leadership have been qualities that have marked him out as one of the true greats. On behalf of everyone at the club, we wish him every success in his future career.'
Roy Keane said: 'It has been a great honour and privilege for me to play for Manchester United for over 12 years. During my time at the Club I have been fortunate to play alongside some of the best players in the game and in front of the best supporters in the world. At all times I have endeavoured to do my best for the management and the team.
'Whilst it is a sad day for me to leave such a great club and manager I believe that the time has now come for me to move on. After so many years, I will miss everyone at the club.
'I send my best wishes for the future to the management, players, staff and supporters of the club.'

Normality

2005-11-14T13:25:00.000Z

Normal is getting dressed in clothes that you buy for work and driving through traffic in a car that you are still paying for - in order to get to the job you need to pay for the clothes and the car, and the house you leave vacant all day so you can afford to live in it.

The Empire Strikes Back

2005-11-06T21:38:00.000Z

We had the first hour. The attacking flair of old, the movement the pace, the confidence, the resilience.It was the tensest half-an-hour after, but footballing gods be praised, was it worth it.

Chelsea are a brilliant team, indeed, but if tonight's anything to go by, if the young kiddos at United motivate themselves enough, the world is at our feet. The revival is being set up nicely for the visit of Villareal in a little under 2 weeks. Only then, OT will have another boisterous voice in the crowd....

YES! I will be there!! 20 years after first setting sight on the Red Devils, I will be cheering them on, right smack in the middle of 67,864 Spanish-blood hungry fans! If I didn't know better, I'd swear I was having an emotional hard-on, and an orgasmic release of brain-numbing proportions.

The ennervating effects of the past months have passed; and it feels euphoric indeed to be back.

The Red Empire has begun its march.

God, I'm such a geek.

Over Pizza and Grey's.

2005-11-01T22:24:00.000Z

God ( if you believe in one ), or fate ( if you don't ), can truly be baffling at times. These represent the two 'elements' that the human mind will never be able to completely fathom, and even less so - conquer.

Both have the divine ability to right wrongs, straighten crookedness, happy-fy sorrow, and turn frown to smile. All it needs for it to work is faith and belief.

He is amazing.

In the words of the iconic Alfred E. Neuman...

What? Me Worry?

Literary Orgasm Provider Begins His Comeback

2005-09-25T21:53:00.000+01:00

And I'm back. It's been a tumultuous 7 months, lots of heartache, lots of promise, lots of uncertainty and these still remain, but it's time to write again. The resurrection of the literary genius that is Ryan ensues..

A lifelong attempt...what an exciting prospect.

2005-02-13T20:18:00.000Z

Monday. The fourteenth day of the second month of the year. St. Valentine's Day, some call it. A day on which, millions around the world show their affection, their love, their intention of love to the persons closest to them. Husbands to wives, children to parents, sweethearts to sweethearts. Cards are written, cards are made. Gift packages, of which huge rose bouquets are often the centrepiece are carefully planned, 'assembled' and delivered. Exquisitely planned dinners are had, either at home or at a deliciously romantic restaurant. Ahh, the bliss of love expressed freely...

Me, well, I've never quite believed in the isolation of this one day every year to express extravagantly just how much that one special person means. But confuse me not with the Ebenezer Scrooge who sulks in his little corner Bah! Humbug-ging the essence of St. Valentine's Day. I am not about to say that flowers are just flowers and expensive dinners are a total waste of money. To those who have these sentiments, I say this: Yes, roses are are just flowers, but only until they are given you from the one who holds your heart...at which point these mere flowers are elevated to a status far beyond that that can be completely fathomed. Posh dinners are only artistically sculpted articles of food, but only until they are shared in the presence of your darlingheart ....at which point the taste of the food takes second pedestal to the bliss of being in the company of the one who holds your heart.

I am not here to guffaw at peope who woo their other halves on this day with flowers, chocolates, whispers of sweet nothings, simple quiet quality time and other romantic oddities. These are all mostly sincere expressions of love, and I salute them all. What I am at raised-eyebrow about is these expressions being CONFINED to just this one day. It puzzles me why if you did love that certain someone so much that you'd go through all that meticulous effort to have a fabulous 14th of 2 for the two of you, why not express that same love and devotion every single day of the year?! Do we really need an occasion to say ' I love you ' in a special place? Do we really need an occasion to buy her the most simple of flowers, even if it be but a single stalk? Do we really need Valentine's Day to let her know that you love her?

There is no special time at which to express one's love, there is no one right time. Everytime is the right time when you love. Show love, live love, and enjoy love. On the 14th of February of each year, and on each and every other day of the year too. Do this with sincerity, and in time you'll realise, that 365 days is simply not enough.

To the angel who reads this with a smile on her face and a warmth in her heart, I apologise for not being able to do for you what I had planned, for reasons and complications you know. And although it does frustrate me that I could not come through with this, I have a smile on my heart and a glimmer in my eye because I know I've shown you every single day just how much you are to me, and how much I so completely love us. If Valentine's Day is an expression of love, then sayang, you are my Valentine's Day...for it is in you that God and life express their love for me. I love it that I love you, and I can't wait for the rest of my life to attempt to show you each and every day just how completely I love you. You're my baby, my sweetheart, my princess, my darling, my angel....and I am quite simply...........yours.

An Open Letter To Arsene Wenger

2004-10-24T01:09:00.000+01:00

Ryan Jude Soosayraj
Sir Matt Busby Way,
Old Trafford
Manchester M16 0RA

Arsene Wenger
Manager
Arsenal Football Club
Avenell road
Highbury
London N5 1BU

Dear Sir,
Re: Canine Slaughter

I refer herewith to the impending meeting of our two great footballing sides in a little under 24 hours from now. Sunday, the 24th of October, truly the most memorable, if not nail-bitingly awaited matchday of the season yet. The extravagant flair of your cospomolitan team of eleven against the decade dominators of English football.

Manchester United v Arsenal

Let me first applaud you and the fabulous compilation of footballing talent that has been assembled, refined and polished within the training grounds of Highbury. Arsene, you have done a fabulous job of teaching your young men the heights that can be reached by simply admiring, learning, and gawking at awe at the numerous Manchester United training videos and past-season-winning clips that you have in the past begged me to send you ( yes, you're welcome for the autographs too ). It was shared with you on the basis of spreading the joys of winning and the ecstacy of being repeatedly at the pinnacle of the Premiership. But as this world is what it is, all good will most often be followed my some evil. And you, Arsene, as commander-in-chief of the Arsenal, completely define the latter.

You worshipped the Devils of Red when you were AnalArses, and on many an occasion pleaded that your fledglings be allowed to scrub the boots of Keano, Giggsy and Scholesy - just for the chance for them to pick up a 'few pointers' ,as you put them, whilst in the team dressing room. You learned, you studied, you slurped it all up. And now, like the proverbial hand that bites the hand that feeds it, you ATTEMPT to use these to unpick us. The student now believes himself to be the teacher. But what, Arsene, you forget, is that while you were busy transitioning from student to teacher, we were proceeding up the divine ladder from teacher to professor general of football.

You lie atop the table, and believe that the Treble is well within sights.And of this, I assure you. You will, at the hands of the Mighty of Old Trafford, be delivered the Treble. The treble of LOSING the FA Cup, the Premiership, and the Champions League. But fret not, Arsene, this has been experienced time and time again, and you must be well equipped by now with how to handle defeat at the horns of the devil.

50 games unbeaten? 49 to date? Arsene, let me educate you. The Chinese have a translation for numerical values; and in this translation, the number 4, pronounced SEI, means death, and the number 9, KOW, means dog.

The slaughter of the Highbury canines is imminent.

Tomorrow, the 24th of October 2004, the hand that fed evolves into the hand that smacks, slaps and spanks. Tomorrow, self-proclaimed-teacher will again be made student as the professor comes to class. Tomorrow, Arsene, your Gunners become Gooners.

Manchester United v Arsenal? Definitely. 'v' = VANQUISHED.

Good luck. I pray you only lose 2-nil.

sincerely,
Ryan Jude Soosayraj

Bavarian Incredibility

2004-10-22T20:30:00.000+01:00

Yes, there are still people like this out there.

Why? Just why?

Don't Forget To Remember

2004-10-19T15:20:00.000+01:00

Just a short entry to remind those who need reminding that life, is indeed beautiful. It's just a matter of training the eye to focus on the good and not the bad, the shiny and not the rusty. And if a speck of dirt is encountered, don't fret. Remember, even a diamond was once just an old, black rock. Love, people, love. Life without love is but an existence.

Ciao...I'm off to love myself with a heapful of Haribo, ice-cream and Mozart.

De-bate is De Thing You Catch De Fish With

2004-10-14T22:58:00.000+01:00

I just had to do it. It was fun. It was educational. It was entertaining. And above all, it was comedic.

I spent 2 hours from 2 to 4am this morning watching the 3rd Presidential Debate ( read: 3rd comedic performance worthy of Jongleurs ), and there was no way on earth I'd not have something to say about it.

It's really quite amazing, this person the Americans call Mr. President ever so respectfully. I'd willingly wager my every last cent that if someone were to take the effort and dig a little, they'd discover that the 'W' in George W. Bush stood for Wonky, and this coincidentally would've been the callsign given him by the Goofys-'R-Us National Taskforce ( GRUNT ).

There he was, on the podium, with a petulant smirk on his face.... a smirk so unfading that it could, in all probability have been held on his face by 4 gallons of Selley's SupaGlue. What IS he grinning about while Kerry is talking? That's completely inappropriate. To quote a reporter, "You shouldn't look like a Cleveland Indians logo when you're in the middle of a presidential debate and people are dying in a war."

Cleveland Indians Logo:

Mr. President

I don't know too much about the true intricacies of policies domestic and foreign, not more than the average individual who watches the droves of CNN, BBC and MSNBC reports while complementing these with exqusitely written Times Magazine and newspaper opinions. So I won't delve nor debate much on the 'package' that each candidate wants to lead the most powerful nation on earth with.

On one point though, I will commentate. Iraq.

Was it right to remove Saddam? Definitely.
The most potent weapon of mass destruction himself.

Should they have gone in despite objections from the International Community? Yes.
Let me give you an analogy.

The local bully continually taunts and threatens the members of your family. Mr. Thug has never laid hands on any of you, but never ceases to state in the open his intention to do so should he get the chance. Now do you WAIT for him to maim/slaughter/manhandle a member of your family and THEN decide to do something about him, or do you take PRE-EMPTIVE action? Now put that on hold. Next. You realise that the best way to put Mr. Thug in his place would be if you could get the whole neighbourhood to join in with you...to form a COALITION OF THE WILLING with you. So you knock on their doors, one by one, drawing their attention to the imminent threat that Mr. Thug is proving to be. And neighbours being as neighbours are, turn you away. Their rationale? " Well, he's shown no immediate threat to us, so why should we meddle with him? " or another " Mr. Thug owns the largest Shell station in these parts, and should we disrupt his business in any way, how will we power our cars? ".

So what would YOU do? Take forever to try and get these neighbours to march hand in hand with you and humble Mr. Thug? Remember, it's not that your neighbours don't agree that he's a nuisance, it's just that he's not a nuisance to THEM. So would you sit around and hope that your neighbours eventually come to your aid ( and in the meantime leaving your family open to the continuing threat that is Mr. Thug ) OR do you take up the responsibility and deal with him yourself, for the sake of your kin?

Now let's recast the actors:

YOU = President Bush
FAMILY = The US of A
Mr. THUG = Saddam Hussein
NEIGHBOURS = Members of the United Nations
SHELL STATION = Iraqi oil reserve

and re-read the script.

So removing Sadistic Hussein was right. Staying there and attempting to PROFIT from it after, is where the Bushster went horribly wrong.

And the thing that truly baffles the mind is how, when Wonky had the Mastermind General of Terrorism , Osama bin Laden, cornered in the mountains of Afghanistan, he abruptly laid down his guns and ran after SomeDumb Hussein. The man who, with his idealogy and skewed perception of Islam propelled commercial airliners into the symbols of American prosperity, wealth and power, taking with them thousands of innocent men, women and children was merely given a smack on his wrist and told to sit in the corner.

And when Mr. President was questioned on this oddity on March 13, 2002, the reply was:

"I don't know where he [bin Laden] is.You know, I just don't spend that much time on him... I truly am not that concerned about him."

Last night, midway through the debate, Bush claimed he never said he didn't think much about Osama bin Laden. Brilliant. The Secret Service must have removed the smoke detectors from the stage, because there was definitely a set of pants on fire.

He seems confused, over confident when confidence really should be at its lowest and seemingly unperturbed by the fact that he took his family to war without a clear and effective plan for peace after.

And all this comes across loud and clear in an over-relaxed, nothing-is-the-matter air that has surrounded Mr. George Dubya Bush.

Bush MAY have learnt from the whiplash of a post-war Iraq, and might now have all the perfect policies for the next 4 years, and the leadership qualities of a commander-in-chief...but it is never to be seen. A consistent absence of class, finesse and eloquence...three qualities that should be the transport on which the most powerful man on earth brings his visions, passions and desires to his people and to the world.

A couple of days ago, there was an allegation that President Bush had, in the 2nd Presidential Debate, worn a radio transmitting device that suggested he was receiving advice, on the podium from his aides. The photo that prompted this allegation:

Is it possible? Definitely. Is it probable? I think not. Why, you ask? Because anyone who watched his performance last night should be forever dispelled from the myth that someone is feeding Mr. Bush lines through a secret earpiece.

Believe me, if someone was feeding Bush lines, he wouldn't sound so goofy.

- Quote of the night, John Kerry: " The President and his administration are giving $89 billion to the top one percent while kids lose their after-school programs. You be the judge, America."

Beautiful.

Funeral Don'ts !!

2004-10-10T08:39:00.000+01:00

A close friend of mine once went to a funeral. Despite being in a sad atmosphere, most of the visitors actually took the time to stare at my friend. He pretended to be totally oblivious to the extra attention and sat through the whole funeral. When the funeral was over and he got up to leave, I noticed a few interesting words written at the back of his black T-Shirt. "GET A LIFE"

Talking about funerals...There was an interesting topic over the radio the other day. Listeners were supposed to call in and tell the nation what songs that were least likely to be played at a funeral. Imagine the options! It was hilarious. Here is some of it....

It's My Life - Bon Jovi

Alive - P.O.D

Staying Alive - Bee Gees

When you say nothing at all - Ronan Keating

And.. My personal favourite..... Deeper Underground- Jamiroquai

So the next time you are at a funeral, take some time to dress properly and be thankful that none of the songs above are being played!

Tuna the Cat

2004-10-07T14:56:00.000+01:00

The lengths that some people will go to in their hunt for porn or an easy lay. I hardly ever log on to my Friendster account, but each time I do, I either laugh out aloud or choke in disgust at the pervystupidity of some people:

The above is a list of the search terms entered from the people who've logged on to Friendster in the past 48 hours.

What ARE they hoping for? Let's take a look at them from 2 perspectives:

#1 :Lubang Puki & Hisap Kemaluan : Stupidity Perspective

For the uninitiated - Lubang = Hole , Puki = Vagina ( excessively crude term ) , Hisap = Suck, Kemaluan = Embarassment; i.e. Genitalia

So they're looking for a Vaginal Hole and a Suck Genitalia. Brilliant.

Stupid fact 1 : Pardon me if I'm ignorant, but since when were there Hole-less Vaginas?

And what oh what , pray tell could anyone be hoping to find when he ( as it most definitely IS a HE ) hit the Search button? If it was within a Google Image Search, at least as completely testosterone pumped as he was, he would'nt have been stupid. But he's searching for a Lubang Puki in a network of friends. i.e. FRIENDster. So unless he believes that some mentally challenged mother out there has named her child " Lubang Puki " and who coincidentally has signed up with Friendster herself ( or should I say ITself ), heaven knows what this penishead was looking for.

#2 : Lubang Puki & Hisap Kemaluan : Mental Journey

Leave stupidity aside. Let's look at the thought process of this nut behind the above mentioned Lubang Puki search.

Woke up -> Had some aphrodisiac loaded Bak Kut Teh for breakfast -> Hormonal rage ensues -> Start up PC -> Hand tends towards his Unit -> Log on to Friendster -> Searches for Lubang Puki -> Hand greets his Unit in perverted anticipation -> And the rest is only known to him

I ran a search of the same to see the results and it caused an even harder tear-filled laughout session.

Whether it be Pukied Lubangs or Sucked Embarassments, some people need to get in touch ( pun intended ) with their testos levels and more importantly with their minds. Feel the need for some of the former, go to the local Red Light District or a local club. Want some of the latter, do the same, or since you're sick enough to enter a search for it on Friendster, I guess you'd welcome a suggestion of spreading your unit with some fresh Tuna and calling the neighbour's cat over.

My advice? Get a life. Love's the way to go. With love, lust becomes exquisite. Without it, it's empty-fying.

Maroon Roses

2004-10-05T19:43:00.000+01:00

The treasure of a moment, how priceless it can sometimes be.
I can be quite an emotional person at times, and by this I mean that I'm sensitive to feelings both good and bad, and not that I overreact to them. I'm going through a little bout of the ' missing-you pangs ' at the moment. It's funny how this works really.

1. You know you miss someone when they're away from you, even if it's a little bit

2. And then you see the person again after sometime, and you realise AT that moment, just how much MORE you actually did miss them.

3. And then it's time for goodbye again. And you set it all up in your mind that you'll tell her just what you want to at just the right time, just before she hugs you goodbye.

4. And then the dreaded moment arrives. You hug, she hugs. You hold on just that little bit longer. And then it's time to say it. It's time to say it right there, in front of her....and the words just won't come out. It's been comfortable expressing it, comfortable talking about it, but at the moment when you know you want more than ever before to say it aloud for the first time, your throat just gets so thick with emotion that it struggles to come out.

5. And then the moment is gone. For now at least. She smiles her goodbye again, and vanishes home.

6. And your battle with yourself begins. You berate yourself for not yanking it out of your heart and through your thickened throat and out to her ears when you had the chance. And you go to obscenely crazy lengths to try and find a way to still do it.

7. And then reality settles in as you sense that you won't be able to express it face to face until your next meeting. And you are left to console yourself with ' I know she knows '.

You are the only one who knows who you are. And although it wasn't said in exactly those words, you know I do. Whether the bud blossoms into a maroon rose or not, either way, I want you to know that.

After Thievery comes Improvisation

2004-09-30T01:06:00.000+01:00

I stole the following 'poem' off a friend's site...and then proceeded to do some doodling of my own below it.

by Carrie Bradshaw

Later that day, I got to thinking about relationships.
There are those that open you up to something new and exotic,
Those that are old and familiar,
Those that bring up lots of questions,
Those that bring you somewhere unexpected,
Those that bring you far from where you started,
And those that bring you back.
But the most exciting, challenging and significant relationship of all,

Is the one you have with yourself.

And if you find someone to love the you that you love, Well, that's just fabulous.

by Ryan the Butt ( eat your heart out, Carrie Bradshaw! heheh )

You're the type of girl I'd brag about knowing

That's because you're intelligent, remarkably sweet, cool, funny, thoughtful and laid back
You're able to know how to be one of the guys
But a lady enough to make certain hearts fibrillate ;)

You laugh sweetly well at and with me
and never hesitate to take a dig at me the moment opportunity arises
You're a sport enough to even laugh at yourself at times
Laughter,Encouragement, Calmness, Tenderness, Strength.......You.

You're the type of girl I'll brag about knowing.

Never with who we are

2004-09-25T14:56:00.000+01:00

Someone asked me last night if I was happy and content with my lot. Simple question, but you know Ryan, questions like these are never met with a straightforward yes or no. And so the detailed reply ensued.

For a big part of my 26 years, I was riding an emotional roller-coaster of feeling happy at times and feeling utterly cheated and unfairly deprived at the same time. And then December '03 came along. And I began on a 9-month journey of growth and maturity of perspective and I now see things through whole different eyes.

"Be happy while you're living, for you're a long time dead. "

I am happy with my life at the moment. Yes, there are challenges that I face today, some that at times seem overwhelming. But rather than feeling down in the dumps about having these situations to overcome, I cherish the fact that I've been given the chance and ability to be able to conquer each of these over time.

"What makes us discontented with our condition is the absurdly exaggerated idea we have of the happiness of others. "

Contentment. It's what we all seek in the short time that we have. Whether we realise it or not, whether we admit it or not, we spend our lives working towards that day when we can lay back , heave a lengthy sigh and say in our mind's ear " I am satisfied " . Few actually live to see this day. Because many spend their lives entirely in the mix of chasing contentment that they never see it when it presents itself. See, the thing is this. Contentment can only be enjoyed if we STOP to enjoy it. Contentment is knowing that " I NEED no more to be happy. " Contentment changes the mindset from needing or wanting something/someone to be happy to " it would be nice if I could have that". If you do get what you want, then that's excellent. But if you don't, then you're disappointed yes, but you are still happy with what you have.

I, Ryan Jude Soosayraj, up to this day, the 25th of September 2004 am happy with what I have at this stage. There are many things more that I want to achieve in life, and because of that I am not entirely content. I'm happy at where I am in my life so far. I've only realised this in the past 9 months. I've gone through shit on earth, but I like where it's brought me and what I've become because of it. It's given me a foundation that will last me a lifetime. I've accomplished alot in terms of knowing who Ryan really is, and learning how to love people with all of me, for all that they are. Everything that I have NOT accomplished in life as yet, I hope to do with the lady I'll share my life with by my side.

Never forget that it is right to be contented with what we have, but never with what we are.

Humour Tumour

2004-09-22T22:01:00.000+01:00

And we did it. What a sumptuous display of pure attacking flair and defensive bliss. Rio's back, and so are United. Never have I been as compelled to turn up the volume on a 5 point surround system to watch a football game. It was as good as being there. Heck, it might have even been a tad better, as I had to intermittently dart into the kitchen to gobble down some ripe strawberries with the excuse of it calming my tensexcited nerves. Hmm..that looks nice in type - tensexcited. ;)

I went for my first interview in Londontown today. Was brilliant. Had a good time chatting with the interviewer ( hopefully, my boss-to-be ), and as all things good always lead to this - we ended up talking about football and laughing our hearts out at Harry Kewell's woeful 90 minutes. It's amazing. Humour absolutely breaks all barriers. It warms you up, it calms you down, it picks you up, it settles you in. As ALF once said, " What's life if we can't look at it at times and laugh?! Where's your sense of humour?! "

ALF...now THAT was a good comedy in the 80's. Standby for a review of this:

Laughter.

What a divine gift. I worship a laugh, I never hold back a heartfelt laugh, I melt when a girl laughs well. :)

I have a tumour. And it's called humour.

A Sliver of Liver, Anyone?

2004-09-20T14:29:00.000+01:00

Manchester United v Liverpool

View Gamecast

It's here. The time of reckoning. The one match that could signal the awakening of the Reddest of Devils. We've been horrid since the first kick of the ball in '04, and it's time to wake up, pull those Nike socks up, and knock some goals beyond the flailing arms of Dudek. Ruud and Rio are back - lethality in the front, and solidity at the back. A word from the Boss:

"Some might think I should give Rio a warm-up game, perhaps with the reserves, but I have not the slightest hesitation throwing him in at the deep end. And nor would you if you'd had the advantage of seeing him in training during his long absence on the sidelines. If you could have watched his focus, you would know that the man is geared to come straight back into the side, even for a match as big as this."

We have the players to do it. We have the experience to do it. All we need now is to......Just Do It.

Slobbery Sloppiness

2004-09-17T15:26:00.000+01:00

It's been 3 posts since I put up something remotely intellectually challenging, but I assure you, Ryan remains the same cool ass and remarkably modest fella who continues to constantly observe the littlest things in life and appreciate them all.... after commenting on them of course :).

The lack of an interesting update is 'cause I've often had to vacate my place in front of the pc cause my darling mind-of-a-15-year-old-but-body-of-a-10-year-old cousin is in the middle of some exam preps and my pcs on his desk.

On another note, don't ask me why, 'cause I simply don't know, but funnycool Ryan's feeling a tad more soppy than usual this morning. Must be all those amazing ballads that have been emanating from Kiss FM through my headphones.....ah Richard Clayderman, how I love thee.. hahahah.

Just wanted to tell you fellas and fell-ees that I love you to bits. Love it that I went up to you and said, "Hi, I'm Ryan" or the equivalent when I did. Love it that I know you. Love it that you know that.

Call me, Text me, Skype me.

2004-09-16T13:55:00.000+01:00

Found this fairly new piece of work online. Its a small application that installs on your pc and allows for free , non-delayed phone calls over the net. Only drawback is that you can't call a fixed line or a mobile for free. It's good, and it's from the same fellas who did KaZaa. Will the conversation be clear? Crystal. Download it. And then, if you'd like to speak to a guy who thrives on laughter, matters of the heart, and the simple joys of life, add this user : ryan_jude

The Monopoly

2004-09-14T13:55:00.000+01:00

Conversations over the past week led me to asking myself last night as I lay in bed :

" Ryan, do you talk too much and often not give others the chance to speak? "

and the answer after some thought was a resounding yes. I realise I'm often so passionate about what I'm speaking about that I just go on and on, and end up monopolising the whole conversation. I'm so excited about wanting to know all that's going on in the other person's life, that I spend so much time asking the questions, without allowing the opportunity for me to hear EVERYTHING that is to be said. I don't do this with everyone, but to those to whom this seems vaguely familiar, I do it only because I am so so interested in talking to you. Forgive me, I have only just realised this about my conversationalist skills .... or lack thereof. I apologise for the times I've done this. I also realised that I sometimes interrupt the person in mid-sentence, completing what it was they were saying. Once again, it is the excitement I feel when I get exactly what you're saying at that moment that stumbles me into rudely completing your sentence/explanation. I apologise. I will make a concious attempt to polish this rough-conversation-quirked-Ryan into a more-listening-less-talking-indian-bloke.

Pyar Dosti Hai

2004-09-09T10:39:00.000+01:00

Over the past week and a half, I have had the privilege of , on 3 separate occasions, to explain my perception and belief of the most famed of four-lettered-words - LOVE. Now before you either shut off, click away or guffaw in ridiculous laughter, give yourself a chance to explore my idea of this greatest of gifts, and then proceed to ask yourself what your heart tells you about love.

Few single sentences can come close , but the following one does good justice in describing the tip of the love-iceberg.

" Pyar dosti hai "

pronounced Peeyar dough-stee hey , this is the line spoken out with great confidence by Rahul (Shah Rukh Khan) in the film Kuch Kuch Hota Hai when he is asked, " Rahul, what is love? " . It simply means, Love is Friendship.

My perception of this: Love is not ONLY friendship. But it IS the core that gives all else a reason. Friendship is the hub; honesty, sincerity, trust, communication, patience...all these are the spokes that connect the hub to the love-wheel and keeps it in motion.

Many say that once you're in close friendship with someone, it is now impossible to take it to the next level...or as Chandler I believe once said, " You're in the friend zone... " .

Complete and utter nonsense.

Yes, many friends enter our lives and only remain in the friend zone. Each has his own 'role' to play in our lives... Some friends are good for parties. Some are good to travel with. Some are good to talk with. Some are good to do business with. Some are good to play games with. Some are good to live with. This also means that there are opposite scenarios where some friends are not suitable for certain occasions. For instance, just because you have fun at parties with Mac, does not mean that he would make a good roommate. Just because you talk to Donald about everything in your life, does not mean that he would make a good business partner. Just as certain types of food are appropriate for breakfast, lunch, or dinner, there are certain types of people that are only appropriate for certain situations. Trying to force them out of these natural boundaries will only cause conflicts. But the problem lies when one applies a blanket rule to ALL friends that enter our lives; i.e. " He/She is my friend already, and therefore I just CANNOT see him/her as anything more. " Sound familiar? It is this stigma that I wholeheartedly disagree with. The stigma that a good friend CANNOT grow into being your boyfriend, your girlfriend, your other half, your better half, PURELY because he/she is 'already your friend'. Think about it, what is your significant other if not your best friend?

Don't follow the norm of 'getting together' with someone and THEN getting to know them. Sure, the period of getting to know the other, the process of discovery is a wonderful and sweet experience, but do this before deciding that he/she is the 'one for you'.

The point here is that a good friend MIGHT become your other half, but your other half MUST be your good friend.

Relationships are tough enough as they are, consistently plagued with frustrations, irritations and the contempt that familiarity breeds. Having the gift of friendship as a foundation helps us withstand these storms and come out tops. Each and every time.

I obviously have not succeed in completely putting into text the essence of what I see to be love, but that is due not to my inadequacies to express myself, but rather simply because love really IS that undescribable. One cannot fully express love, but can only spend and enjoy a lifetime attempting to. It is this perpetual hunger to express love to the special ones in our lives more and more everyday that keeps the heart and soul going. Remember, love is not a target, love is not a goal, and love is by no means a destination. It is, in all its mystery, the greatest journey we will ever be on, IF we decide to embark on it with sincerity, honesty and trust.

Love is the easiest thing on earth. Give yourself a chance.

I love you all. You complete me.

Us, the Twenty-Somethings

2004-08-25T22:41:00.000+01:00

They call it the "Quarter-life Crisis." It is when you
stop going along with the crowd and start realizing
that there are many things about yourself that you
didn't know and may not like. You start feeling
insecure and wonder where you will be in a year or
two, but then get scared because you barely know where
you are now.

You start realizing that people are selfish and that,
maybe, those friends that you thought you were so
close to aren't exactly the greatest people you have
ever met, and the people you have lost touch with are
some of the most important ones. What you don't
recognize is that they are realizing that too, and
aren't really cold, catty, mean or insincere, but that
they are as confused as you.

You look at your job... and it is not even close to
what you thought you would be doing, or maybe you are
looking for a job and realizing that you are going to
have to start at the bottom and that scares you.

Your opinions have gotten stronger. You see what
others are doing and find yourself judging more than
usual because suddenly you realize that you have
certain boundaries in your life and are constantly
adding things to your list of what is acceptable and
what isn't.

One minute, you are insecure and then the
next, secure. You laugh and cry with the greatest
force of your life. You feel alone and scared and
confused. Suddenly, change is the enemy and you try
and cling on to the past with dear life, but soon
realize that the past is drifting further and further
away, and there is nothing to do but stay where you
are or move forward.

You get your heart broken and wonder how someone you
loved could do such damage to you. Or you lie in bed
and wonder why you can't meet anyone decent enough
that you want to get to know better. Or maybe you love
someone but love someone else too and cannot figure out
why you're doing this because you know that you aren't
a bad person.
One night stands and random hook ups
start to look cheap. Getting wasted and acting like an
idiot starts to look pathetic.
You go through the same emotions and questions over
and over, and talk with your friends about the same
topics because you cannot seem to make a decision. You
worry about loans, money, the future and making a life
for yourself... and while winning the race would be
great, right now you'd just like to be a contender!

We are in our best of times and our
worst of times, trying as hard as we can to figure
this whole thing out. What we all need to remember is that
we're all in this together.

Keep smiling,
Keep believing.
Appreciate life..

Random Thought.

2004-08-19T22:33:00.000+01:00

I was in this small diner for lunch today and saw not so much an uncommon sight, but one that made me think of something. I'd just sat down and was about to dig in to this horrible rice dish in front of me , when I heard the flutter of wings zoom past me. I looked up, and there she was, this tiny yellow-green parakeet flying around. She'd obviously gotten herself free from some cage somewhere and had unexpectedly found herself 'trapped' in here. Poor thing she was, as she tried in vain to find the exit and kept bumping into the lights that hung low above the tables. Now, this diner had one of those massive wall mirrors, y'know the ones that go from ceiling-to-floor and span the length of the wall? The ones that people put in their houses because " it'll make the house look bigger, dear " ? Well here's the thing. The parakeet kept flying into the mirror, bumping her small little head *thump* on it, at what sounded like a hundred miles per hour. What an utterly silly bird. Ah, I bet you're thinking, " Ryan, you're so mean. It's only a bird, how's she supposed to KNOW it's only a mirror?! ". But alas...I can understand that lil' birdy couldn't tell that it wasn't really another room, and merely a mirror...but..here's the clincher.....why on earth was she trying to fly straight into the 'other' parakeet?

The Circle of Life

2004-08-17T16:52:00.000+01:00

The most unfair thing about life is the way it ends.I mean, life is tough. It takes up a lot of your time.And then you die. What's that? A bonus?I think the life-cycle is all backwards.

You should die first and get it all over with.
Then you live in an old age home.
You get kicked out when you're too young.
You get a gold watch.
You go to work.
You work forty years until you're young enough toenjoy your retirement.
You do drugs, alcohol and party.
You get ready for secondary school.
You go to primary school and become a kid.
You play.
You have no responsibilities.
You become a little baby & go back into the womb.
You spend your last nine months floating...

Then, you finish off as an orgasm. I like it.

Heart of Pig, Heart of Man.

2004-08-15T00:57:00.000+01:00

Was out for this afternoon with aunt and family to visit her friend in the west of London. For my friends who are reading this, ever since I got it, you know how I have clung to my camera as if it were the very source of my being. I charged the batteries throughout the night, loaded them into my power depraved Powershot A70 in the morning and then promptly forgot to bring it along with me. And as if to punish me, it was to be a day at which Canon would've paid me and arm and a leg to *click* away. The river by her house was exquisitely picturesque. Little Mandarin duckies, black headed-white geese and pearl-white swans glided effortlessly in the rippling water of the Thames. A few feet away, a labrador bounded about the freshly-cut-raindrop-sprinkled grass as he tried in earnest to find the branch his master had just flung out. By the banks, a few pot-bellied old white men casting their lines into the river hoping for that unlucky Salmon to take bite. Just above the surface of the water, some seagulls flew low, as if to show off their top-gun like artistry in splitting the air at almost 35km/h while remaining a mere 10cms above the surface. A cool, breeze engulfs me as I catch whiff of the most heavenly smell known to man - the irreplaceable scent of freshly cut grass just after the rain. For those who have not paused a moment to experience this, the next time the opportunity arises, I beg you try. As I parted my lips to sigh in near-contentment, the taste of semi-salty air greeted my tongue. I smiled the smile of a boy who'd just received that scoop of chocolate ice-cream he'd been dreaming all day of. The smile quickly faded into a lip-biting half smile as it hit home that the one thing that would make this an utterly contenting moment - the presence of the people I hold dear - were but thousands of miles away. But a consoling mood gradually set in as I decided, " I will BRING these people here one day and re-walk these very steps." Typical Ryan, you say? Precisely Ryan.

At this point, I was trying in vain not to focus on my forgetfulness in the morning, but was consoled in knowing that no camera on earth could have captured the overwhelming attack on my senses that this scene radiated. Smell, Sight, Sound, Taste. My nerves were sending one tremendous stream of information to my CNS ( Central Nervous System ) , that's for sure. ( I can almost 'see' one of you smiling at that last sentence :) )

Back at the house. Aunty's friend, Yen cooked us a meal fit for an Emperor. A sumptuous 8 course Chinese meal, complete with freshly brewed chinese tea and never-seen-before-oh-oh-it-looks-dangerous-should-i-eat-it vegetables. I have to be honest here..in all my culinary experiences with indian and chinese folk, I have arrived at one conclusion when it comes to vegetable dishes. The indians have the uncanny ability to cook the same vegetable in 50 different styles, while the chinese will simply use 50 different vegetables. It is a feat only the chinese can achieve. They find vegetables that no other race, human or otherwise, would ever find, and with the aid of their magic wok turn it into a work of art. I think, if Jesus and Mary were chinese, at the wedding at Canna ( probably pronounced Caen-nah ), Mary ( Mah-ree ) would've ordered her son, Jesus ( Chee-Szes ) to turn pots of Mo Qua ( fuzzy melon ) into a dish to be reckoned with.

And then there's the meat. In remember learning in school of how the indians have discovered ways to make use of every part of the coconut tree. But Malaysia school education being as it was/is, left out another remarkable feat. The similar skill of the chinese to utilise every single appendage and limb of a pig. Apart from the pork-belly, ribs and lean meatl, I refer to every other part of this snorting animal lovingly as ... " The Spare Parts ". I bring this to your attention today, as I was deceived ( by the most sweet-hearted yet cunning chef ) into eating.... " A Spare Part ". Today, the 14th of August 2004, I ate a pig's heart.

She took:

This : and added it to this:

I ate a p.i.g. h.e.a.r.t. Never mind that it tasted good. Never mind that it looked appetising once it was all sliced up and skillfully camouflaged amidst the spring onions. I was a porcine heart for goodness' sake! But ate it, I did. It was only polite. I too, had some tricks up my sleeve. To trick my stomach, that is. Pile the rice up there, add some chicken here, add a slice of pig heart somewhere and gulp it down in one swift motion. Wash down with chinese tea.

Came home about 830 pm. A bath and peppermint tea later, and I found myself veged out on the sofa staring idly at the tv screen. Little did I know that a decision I would take in the next 5 minutes would be one of the best in recent movie-watching times. Tonight I watched this:

A gem of a movie. The Leprechauns are now below the poverty line...Mira Nair has struck gold again. I place this movie on par with Patch Adams, Apollo 13 and French Kiss. Yes, the genre's are all supremely different, but for those of you who know, you KNOW the pedestal on which I place these movies. Away with the heart of pig. The heart of this man was tickled and caressed with emotion and reassured again of love, both passionate and filial.

But even as I say this, I beg of you, do not watch it. Because I want to watch it with you. I mean this. I contemplated not writing about Monsoon , so as to ensure you would first watch it with me..but I gave in because I needed you to know about this fantastic work of heartwarming, reassuring love-art. Look at the trailer :: Monsoon Wedding :: , but please, allow me the pleasure of watching it with you.

Goodnight.

Diesel for supper

2004-08-10T01:20:00.000+01:00

Was out at Leicester square today to meet an ex-college friend and her boyfriend. Was there early to pickup a long-ago-promised McDonald's milkshake for her.. Dilly-dallied around the square until she came and stumbled across the VUE theatre where Vin Diesel was due to arrive for the UK premier of Chronicles of Riddick . Didn't see him then, but once dinner and drinks were over , I'd gone into the Underground station only to realise I had to get something for aunt. Got out of the station and saw the bald bloke doing an interview and then zip off into his limo. He's massive...a shorty, but a massive one.

Alright then, it's lights out now. It's badminton tomorrow...need to get my mind of recent goings on and attempt to beat my uncle for the first time. over n out.

Simple failings.

2004-08-07T23:52:00.000+01:00

It's been a heavy day, this Saturday. A friend I hold very close to heart lost someone so special to her last night. It was sudden, it was tragic, and no, it still has not sunk in for me. I hardly knew him, but it's as if I did because she hurting is me hurting. It pains so deep to see a loved one be so severly and suddenly 'injured'. The mindset for her now is to blame herself. And I fear that this could get increasingly worse..as time dribbles, the blame will move away from herself and on to God. At times like this, there are no words, no explanations..all that is needed is the presence of a loved one by her side. And it angers me that I cannot do the simplest thing a friend should do - be there for her. Kristel, I love you, I wish I was there for and with you.

Wales, Meat and the Dance

2004-08-04T00:46:00.000+01:00

I.am.exhausted. It's been a terriby busy 4 days..Drove to Cardiff with Kuha to meet up with an old old family friend, Brinda. The drive took 2+ hours... It get's dark late since it's the summer, so the sunset at 930pm was odd, but nevertheless spectacular. Spent Friday night in Newport (also in Wales) at another friend's place...a mind-boggling, tummy-yummy, drool-dripping meal and wonderfully warm company awaited.
Then it was off to Cardiff the next afternoon...There's really something strangely special about walking aimlessly on Cardiff Bay with the sun beating down on you and cold wind in your face all at once.
Spent Sunday afternoon in a park nearby with Kuha and Brinda, by a stream, discussing the intricacies of religion and the rigidity of religious rules. woah. I sound smart. :)
Was home late Sunday afternoon, Monday was a day of recuperation mostly...until night came, and Ryan had to help Ryan's aunty in cleaning and setting up house for a barbeque the next day for some of her friends. That done, and little fat indian boy was knackered and was swiftly off to bed.
The barbeque was fit for a king. Hell, a whole kingdom would've been satisfied. Lamb chops, kebab-sticks, salads, yoghurt-rhaita, garlic-ed naan, dhal...and the queen-meat of the table -> drumsticks that look like they came out of a chicken three times the size of Shrek. They were so huge, it's not even funny.
So that's it for now, mind's entering Standby mode rapido...hence the rather factual and less humourous update from me today. Here're 2 pics of the past coupla' days. Much love. Oh, and I almost forgot. I learnt the cha-cha today.

The London Leg begins.

2004-07-29T23:57:00.000+01:00

And here we finally have it. Me blogging from London. It's been 3 weeks and 2 days since I landed my fat ass here. In that time, I've had a million things to do, from overcoming the problem of my pc's blown powersupply - which was I might add due to a friggin lizard that crept in and short circuited the thing. He was fried to a crisp. Good. Cost me £30! I've thought long and hard about writing what I HAVE BEEN doing till now, but it's simply too much! So this thought space will be filled with my thoughts and events-done from this day forth! We begin proper tomorrow. To whet that appetite, find below my self-cooked lunch today - Jacket Potatoes loaded with melted cheddar and ground black pepper seeds. Oh, and the obligatory salad leaf.

Lifeing.

2004-05-20T13:22:00.000+01:00

Ever wondered why you're here? Ever wondered if anyone cares WHY you're here? What real purpose do we have? If you think about it, most men spend their lives trying to figure out why they're here. Kind of an unending, vicious Mobiüs strip, don't you think? The purpose of living is to figure out why we live.
I've gone through the past almost 26 years just occasionally asking myself these questions. I don't dwell on them, I don't moan about them. My short and rather roller-coaster life thus far has taught me one thing - Life isn't something we aim for, it's not a destination, per say...it's a journey.... Life's something that happens to you while you're busy making other plans.

Why am I here? Does anyone care if I'm here? I don't know and I don't care. I'm taking life by it's neck and making it make me happy. I'm living for the moment. I'm living with the gifts and values provided me by the One above as my guide, as my inspiration.

Live. Don't exist.